January 2011
Let down?
I think so. My heart aches for something it shouldn’t be aching over.. Its just hard and difficult to deal with but that’s life.. I know I’m missing out on something so good to me.. But the thing thats stopping me is that my guard is still up and my walls are still so damn thick, that it’s even hard for me to break down. I can’t seem to convince myself that better...
Im guilty,
I’m not happy, I just thought I was.
I think I’m gonna look 70 by the time I’m 26.
Stress to impress?
My stress level is super high right now and I honestly don’t know who to handle it. Bill after bill with just one say of work. Fuck F21 and their shady snitches. I’m too scared to even open my bills.. And I know they’re over due too. Fml. But it’s my fault, I’ll take full responsibility for it, all the shopping that got me no where but in a huge shit hole. We spend so...
Maybe,
Just maybe that’s how it’s really supposed to be.
I’m not gonna lie, there are some things that I really miss, but things change I suppose.
Goodnight shady world. :)
It's like a cycle,
You know you’re doing the wrong thing and you correct it, but you still go back to the same bad habit you started with. I hate it especially when I know thy I’m doing it and I catch myself every time. I guess there are some things that you can’t change.
How do you know when you’re being too selfish? It has to stop at some point, right?
And another thing that sucks is...
When the sun rises..
Ohh how I miss seeing the sun come out. Now all I see is the sun coming down.. Just 7 more weeks but it feels so damn slow. Can clinical go any damn slower?! Jesus.
Anywho, my cases today were the same.. Nothing different except maybe two.. I realllllllllly really wanna work for a plastic surgeon! But kinda wanna experience more when I get out there.. Wether I pass the CST exam or not, I’m...
My only day off.
So today was great :) instead of taking a one hour nap like I was hoping, I ended up taking a 3 hour nap.. Haha I deserved it! Then I freshened up and took my dad to run his errands.. Went home and bathed the dogs and got ready to leave to bubba’s. He cleaned my car and removed paint from a car that hit me awhile back.. And then I got ready for the lakers game. The game was intense but fun.....
Let's try this one more time.
Okay so I’m kinda getting used to this haha.
Went to clinical today but we weren’t sure if we were even supposed to be there or not so I called my instructor and she told us that we could either stay or leave. We decided to leave because it was a super slow day in the OR and they didn’t need us anyway! So here I am at home laying in bed thinking of what to do because I’m...